Egyptian Vacation
by Isis Drache
Summary: The Weasley's run into some trouble while vacationing in Egypt (PoA). "That's not easy cheese!"


Disclaimer: I own nothing except the big purple and orange monster at the end. Wait, I don't think there was a big purple and orange monster. Then I own nothing.  
Authors note: The idea that I should write about the Weasley's vacation in Egypt in Prisoner of Azkaban came to me one day, so I decided to try it. Forgive me if something isn't correct, I don't know much about Egypt. If you see anything wrong, just let me know. You know where to find me. *Blank stares* Yes, you do, my e-mail addy is on the profile page. Anyway, Percy gets drunk, Charlie and Bill get locked in a museum, Mr. And Mrs. Weasley get arrested for smuggling drugs in Egypt. Ginny gets kidnapped by crazies, Fred and George meet two beautiful garden tools (I love that term) and get their groove on *grins*, and Ron buys socks. If it starts out kinda slow, just wait till you get to Ginny's part. I like that part. Oh, and I'm not sure how many chapters this will have. Not much, just two or three. I'm done now. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
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"When do we get to ride a camel?" Fred asked, for the third time that day.   
"Tomorrow, dear." Molly Weasley repeated, exasperated.   
"I get the front hump, Fred, you get the back." Said George.  
"But I want the front hump." Fred said, as he stuffed his mouth with more waffles.  
"Boys, calm down, you will each get your own camel. And I believe the camels we will be riding only have one hump." Molly interrupted.  
Ron watched his family carry on with this strange conversation without saying anything. He was busy examining the Sneakascope he had gotten for Harry the day before.  
Noticing Ron's silence, Molly turned to him and asked, "How are your pancakes?  
"Oh, they're great." Ron replied, which wasn't the truth, because most of the Egyptian food he had had so far tasted like crap.  
"Oh, no! This Easy-Cheese is expired!" Fred yelled across the table. "I already ate half the can!"  
"That's not Easy-Cheese." Bill said, snatching his bottle of Peptobismol and putting it back in his pocket. "Sometimes my heartburn works up, and it's only a expired by…oh, a couple years."   
"How is your food dear?" Molly asked Ginny. Ginny, whose face had almost fallen in her hash browns, shook herself awake.  
"What? Nude? I didn't dance around nude at Burger King! That was Charlie!"  
"What?"  
"What?" Ginny repeated, looking flustered.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Oh! The food! It's delicious, mother."  
" What did you say before that?" Molly asked suspiciously.   
"Say?"  
"Yes, say."  
"I don't think I said anything."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Positive."  
"No, you did say the food was delicious."   
"So I did. And your point?" Ginny raised a red eyebrow.   
"I'm confused!"  
"So am I, let's continue eating."  
They all continued to eat their food heartily. The seven hundred galleons they had received was not only enough to pay for their hotel fee in Egypt, but also for meals at expensive restaurants. This particular one sat on a valley with a wonderful view of the Nile River. They had been in Egypt for two days, and so far they were immensely enjoying their trip. They had all been looking forward to going to Cairo to shop, which was what they were planning to do that day. They all got up to leave once they had all eaten the last of their breakfast, and Mr. Weasley was done unsuccessfully trying to find Yanni on the juke box. A witch waitress who knew them to be wizards showed them into a back room where they used floo powder to get back to the hotel without being seen by nosy muggles. Soon the Weasleys all loaded onto the city bus, since they didn't know where any fire places were in Cairo. The bus that they were boarding happened to already be extremely crowded, and the Weasleys certainly didn't help. They made their way down the isle and had to step over a ragged looking man who was asleep on the floor. The trip seemed to last forever, especially since they were standing. Ron's feet were beginning to hurt, and the sleeping hobo on the floor smelled. The entire family was relieved when they reached their stop, and stepped out onto the streets of Cairo.  
*****  
Everywhere people were buzzing, buying or selling everything from carpets to hair care products. Tourists like them were browsing and glancing in the stalls, and locals pushed carts and haggled. Mr. Weasley cleared his throat, and Bill and Charlie already began to hurry away, both mumbling together about museums.  
"Here's the rules that everyone has to follow." Mr. Weasley said to the remaining children. Fred and George sighed.  
"I was hoping they'd get too distracted by the muggle plant fertilizer sale to remember rules." George muttered.  
"I think you are all old enough to shop on your own, except for you Ginny, I'd like you to stick with one of your brothers." Mr. Weasley glanced at all of his sons, and Ginny grumbled angrily. "Why don't you stay with Percy?" Now Ginny looked downright furious.  
"But-" she began.  
"No buts." Mr. Weasley interrupted. "I don't want anybody leaving this area. Don't go beyond those houses…" He continued to inform them of their boundaries as their mother nodded. Ron knew that this was mostly their mother's idea. "So is everything clear?" Mr. Weasley concluded. When his children nodded reluctantly, he said, "Good. I'll meet everyone right here at this but stop at 2 o'clock sharp. Ron watched as the twins immediately ran off to examine a booth selling goats eyes, and his parents walked calmly to a stall. Percy began dragging Ginny down a street, probably to look for some scuzzy shop where he could get a job to put on his resume when he left school next year. Ron decided he should look for something to buy for Hermione. And so they went their separate ways.  
*****  
"Percy," Ginny whined. "You're not trying to find a library so that you can research nitrate pollution in well water in Sudan again, are you?" Percy stiffened.  
"Well water pollution is very important." He said as he continued to walk down the road. "It can affect a lot of people, and it should be stopped." Ginny rolled her eyes. She just doesn't understand… Percy thought. Actually, he had been planning to go to check on Fred and George to make sure they weren't getting into trouble. Last time the family went on vacation the twins had somehow been responsible for the dead raccoon he had found in he and Ron's hotel room. Perhaps I should save the twins for later. He thought. We should do something Ginny wants to do, she deserves to have some fun too. Percy began to study a map and looked up to suggest to Ginny that they stop to get something to drink. However, Ginny seemed to have something else on her mind, because she wasn't there. Percy whirled around and scanned the crowd of people, but there was no doubt about it. His little sister had run away from him. "Hmph!" He exclaimed, although there was no one to hear him. Percy began to panic. If Ginny got kidnapped by thieving Egyptian maniacs his parents wouldn't let him work for a week! He walked the opposite way he had just come, thinking this was most likely the way she would have gone. After nearly twenty minutes of searching and not spotting her he stopped to rest. Right next to him was what looked to him like a crowded tavern, so he stepped in to get a butter beer. He made his way through the bar, just barely missing getting hit in the head by a bottle sailing through the air.   
"Hey!" Percy heard a bartender yell. If he thought the man was going to be scolded for throwing the bottle he was mistaken. The bartender was yelling at Percy. "Wipe off your shoes!" This seemed to him a rather odd request, since the bar was filthy enough to be mistaken for a chicken coop. He wiped off his shoes on a floor mat anyway and sat down on an empty stool. As he brooded over how to find his missing sister, the bartender asked what he wanted. Percy was too busy thinking about Ginny to realize that this place was obviously run by muggles.   
"One butter beer please." The man raised one hairy eyebrow, then yelled to a pretty young woman helping him serve, "One beer!" He didn't bother to ask for an ID. Percy took the glass silently and drained it in minutes, and wondered with shock why it was so surprisingly delicious. In fact, it didn't taste remotely like butter beer. Perhaps that's just how they make it here. He thought, and he asked for another. It didn't stop there, he continued getting more glasses, and hardly noticed that he was beginning to feel a bit woozy…  
*****  
Bill and Charlie slowly made their way to the museum while they talked about the evil ways of squirrels. When they reached it they were standing in front of two gray double doors.   
"I think it's closed." Charlie said.  
Bill turned to look at him blankly. "Why would you think that?"  
"Because the sign on the door says 'closed'."  
"But I thought I saw someone walking around in there. Come on!" He grabbed Charlie's arm and pulled him towards the door, then pushed one of the doors and it swung open. "See?" Bill said. "It's open!" Charlie sighed. Bill was probably just being difficult on purpose, he had been a tad bit hyper-active ever since the family had arrived in Egypt to visit him. It made Charlie wonder if he ever had any visitors. Bill whisked in the door and as he did so he knocked something over with his foot. Charlie caught the door and inspected the object, which was simply a bundled up newspaper. It had either been accidentally dropped between the doors or someone stupidly put it there and forgot about it. However the paper got there, it was preventing the door from latching. It was too late to tell Bill, since he had already disappeared into the shadows.  
"Okay, so maybe it is closed." Bill's voice echoed around them. "We might as well check it out while we're in here. Where's the lights? Lumos." His wand dimly lit up the room. "Hey, let's go check out the mummies, maybe they have mummified beetles."  
Before Charlie could say anything, Bill had seized his arm and yanked him away from the door that he had been propping open. "Bill!" Charlie shouted as the door clicked shut. "The door was locked, it just wasn't closed all the way! Let's hope it doesn't lock from the outside. We better go before we get arrested for breaking and entering." He pulled on the door handle, but as you've probably already guessed, it didn't open. He glance at Bill who was still holding his lit up wand. Charlie pulled his own wand out, and pointed it at the door while saying "Alohomora." When nothing happened, Bill said quietly, "There must be a wizard that works here that put some charms on it for extra security." Charlie attempted to look through the window to see if there were any people outside that could help them, but it was no use, the glass was the foggy kind that you couldn't see through. The brothers were trapped, with no way out.  
*****  
Ron meandered through the streets, stopping here and there to look at something that caught his eye Scabbers sat peacefully in his pocket, ever once in a while peeking out. The blazing sun beat down as he glanced up, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. " I wonder how often it rains here." Ron wondered out loud.  
*****  
Two young Egyptian police officers stood on the side of the road discussing their assignment. Someone had reported that two foreigners, a man and a woman, were smuggling drugs into the country.  
"What color hair did they have?" One asked in the local dialect.  
"Brown, I think. Maybe reddish. All I see is dark hair though." The other said as he viewed the crowd.   
"Wait." The first man held up a hand and pointed. "Over there. They have a sack."  
"Aren't they too old?"  
"It never said how old they were." He mad his way towards the foreigners.  
  
Molly and Arthur Weasley purchased a hand made basket and stuffed it into a bag along with the rest of their purchases, including a stuffed rabbit, and an inflatable pool toy shaped like a pyramid. Following a special map they had also managed to find a cluster of wizard stalls. There they bought a magical miniature figurine of a mummy that did the Egyptian walk, and a bottle of birth control potion labeled, "Just because you already have thirty children doesn't mean you can't still get your groove on! (97.6% effective!)" They were just about to look for something for Molly's psychotic mother when two police officers appeared behind them.   
"Excuse us ma'am, we must look in your bag." The taller man said.   
Mrs. Weasley looked bewildered, and uttered, "Why? What is this all about?" Her husband put a protective hand on her shoulder.  
"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, dear. They probably were just asked to search any people not from around here, maybe someone stole a gold plated scarab beetle or something. Just do what the officer says." She handed over her purse. They bent their heads towards the bag and removed it's contents. They were probably quite puzzled by all the magical items, yet the muggles said nothing. But when they pulled out a large bag filled to the brim with white floo powder, they glanced at each other, and each pulled out a pair of ominous looking handcuffs. The Weasleys looked horrified.   
"You cannot bring this into Egypt." The stocky one said shortly, motioning towards the floo powder. Molly and Arthur stared at each other wide eyed as handcuffs were slapped onto their wrists.   
"Come with us." The officers led them to a police car. They had no choice but to get in and be seated next to a harmless looking little boy who was about six years old. The sweet little boy seemed to brighten their moods for a moment, although they didn't know why he was there. Perhaps he had gotten lost in the city.  
"Why hello there." Molly said kindly as the car started moving.  
"I'm a butterfly!" He said cheerfully.  
"That's good." She said, smiling at his make believe game.  
"A BITING butterfly!" He screeched and with that he seized her and bit it, hard.  
"Ouch!" She yelled loudly.  
"Be quiet back there!" shouted an officer.  
"Oh, I'm sure he didn't mean it." Arthur said soothingly as his wife nursed her aching hand. He gently reached for the boy's nose, which was difficult to do because of the handcuffs, and said, "Got your nose!"  
"Got your wallet!" the boy screamed, as he easily plucked Mr. Weasley's wallet right out of his pocket. At the moment, the car wasn't moving so he opened the door and jumped out and ran away.  
"Hey! You come back here!" Arthur yelled, but to no avail.  
"How did he get the door opened? It's locked!" Molly asked.  
"Who knows?" He sighed and leaned his head back and closed his eyes. This was going to be a long day.  
*****  
Ginny breathed in deeply,, relieved that she had slipped away from Percy so easily. She was still fuming because no one realized that she was responsible enough to be on her own in a muggle town in Egypt. I'm twelve, for goodness sakes! I can take care of myself! She thought as she rammed straight into a pole because she wasn't looking where she was going. What was the difference between Egypt and the U.K? Well, a lot, she admitted, but still, how bad could it be? She yawned a loud, long yawn that seemed to last an eternity. Boy was she tired, she had hardly gotten any sleep the night before. If she could only find a place to rest. And then she saw it. A truck was parked in an empty alley, and at the time no one was using it. Ginny glanced around once more to make sure the owner wasn't coming around a corner ,and ducked into the alley and hoisted herself into the back of the truck. It was dirty, but she laid down anyway. Although she tried to prevent it, she felt her eyelids slowly closing, and she drifted into a peaceful slumber. Ginny was jolted awake by a sudden shocking bump. She sat up and looked around wildly, furious with herself for stupidly falling asleep. The bump she had felt was most likely a pot hole, because the truck was sailing down an unfamiliar street. How long was I asleep? Ginny thought anxiously. Wherever she was, it wasn't Cairo. There were much less buildings, and the few buildings that were there were very far apart. They were so far apart that if you needed to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor for a birthday cake your birthday would have passed by the time you got it. She was beginning to panic, she could be in Tunisia for all she knew! She crawled towards the front of the truck and inched her face towards the window. The man driving had messy long blonde hair, he probably wasn't a local. The other man… Ginny blinked. The other man had a surprisingly large afro. They were talking and laughing very loudly- shouting in fact, and bobbing their heads to music that was not there. Ginny supposed their radio was broken, the whole truck seemed rather run down. She tried to hear the conversations.   
"Yeah, I'm supposed to be watching my niece and nephew right now, man! They're at home, I just let out all of the poisonous snakes and tell them to gather them up again, it keeps them busy for hours!" The driver yelled. Ginny still had no idea why they were yelling.  
"That's cool man! Hey, whatever you do- DON'T HIT THAT SIGN!" She almost screamed as the truck swerved and smashed straight into a sign. The afro man yelled again. "Whatever you do… DON'T HIT THAT COUGAR!" Ginny was about to duck in case a cougar came sailing towards her head but the driver screamed,  
"That's not a cougar, it's a puma!" Ginny breathed a sigh of relief, thinking he wasn't going to attempt to hit it.  
"Well whatever it is, DON'T HIT IT!" This time she did scream as a raccoon- not a cougar or a puma, came sailing towards her head.  
The two insane men merely glanced back at her when she screamed, and hardly seemed to notice her presence. That is, until afro man shouted, "Whatever you do…DON'T THROW A GRENADE IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK!!!" Terrified out of her wits, Ginny toppled out of the back of the vehicle, luckily it hadn't been moving very fast. The truck continued to careen down the dusty road and ricocheted behind trees so that she could no longer see it. Whether they really had a grenade or not, she never knew, and didn't want to know. Ginny stood up and looked around her to try to gain some idea of where she was.   
*****  
Ron held up a pair of orange socks. Orange was good… he could wear them to the next Chudley Cannon's game that he went to. Black would be good for school, since it would match his robes. He picked out a pair of Egyptian hand knit black socks, then picked out a pair of white ones to wear at home. He was glad he had gotten that raise in his allowance, because he was definitely in need of new socks. He glanced at a pair of green and red striped socks with jingle bells on the top. "How ridiculous." He murmured out loud. Then glancing around to make sure no one was nearby, then snatched the pair of socks and added it to the pile he was going to buy. He gave the man the right amount of money, then continued down the road to look at pottery.  
*****   
"Look!" Fred exclaimed as he picked up a box containing an unidentifiable object. "It's the gall bladder of a rooster!" They looked at each other, and said in unison, "Let's get it!"  
"But wait! What's that?" George asked, and they moved on to look at something else. The could focus on one time for more than ten seconds before they were distracted by something shiny. Fred was reaching for a green marble the size of his hand, when a slender tan hand with long fingers reached down and gracefully grabbed it before he could. He looked up into the eyes of what had to be the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had dark brown wavy hair that was partially covered by a head scarf, that he knew would be cascading down past her shoulders if it wasn't hampered by the cloth. Her hair caught the sunlight and reflected it hundreds of times more lustrous, in his opinion. He felt like he could get lost in her dark, mesmerizing eyes. Her smooth skin seemed to shimmer, and well, I think you get the point. She was very beautiful.   
"It's fascinating, don't you think?" She asked holding up the green sphere. Even her voice was magnificent, it rang wonderfully and stood out from everyone else's. He wondered briefly what she was talking about, then realized she was referring to the marble. "Have you looked inside? I always feel like I could look into these forever and never get bored." She laughed at his dazed expression. "I suppose you see a lot of amazing things where you come from, though, you are probably not interested in petty Egyptian toys. Inside the sphere were hundreds of bubbles swirling in an intricate design, but Fred didn't notice. He looked over at George to see if he had noticed that an angel had just appeared in front of him. He was amazed to see that his brother was staring blankly at a girl who was just as gorgeous as the one talking to him. This one was taller than the other, who was slightly short. They were probably sisters, they both looked so much alike. They were both also around the same age as Fred and George.  
"It's hot today, you both are probably unused to the heat. Would you like to walk to our house where there is shade?" The tall one asked.   
Fred closed his mouth which had been hanging open, and replied, "Where is it? Is it far?"   
"Oh, it's not far." She pointed a tanned arm. "Over there, beyond those houses." It was slightly outside of their father's boundaries. Slightly.   
"Sure!" George stuttered. So they made their way through the crowded streets and soon reached a nice little white house. To tell the truth, the twins were slightly surprised that this was their house, by their clothing it seemed like they would live in one of the smaller, not as well kept houses. The boys barely noticed this though, and they followed them around the house and onto a back porch.   
"Would you like us to get you a drink? Lemonade perhaps?" Said the short girl, batting her long eyelashes.   
"Sure." They both said, not really caring. Both of the girls disappeared around the corner of the house. Fred and George glanced at each other.   
"Nice service." Said George.  
"Wow, two beautiful girls, and lemonade." Fred sighed wistfully.   
"Where is this all leading to, do you think?" They didn't have much time to elaborate, for the girls were back with lemonade. George and Fred both drained it quickly, because, after all, it was hot outside. The girl Fred had talked to earlier led him away to the edge of the porch.  
"You two are twins, I suppose?" She asked smoothly.  
"Yeah, we're identical. Most people can't tell us apart."   
"I can tell you apart." She said as she inched closer.   
"You- you can?" He stammered.  
"Oh, yes. I think that you," she put a hand on his shoulder. "Are very handsome."   
"You- you do?" Before he could say anything else, she had leaned forward and kissed him.   
"Wow." Was all he could say to express his feelings and er… emotions. "But wait, I don't even know your na-" He was cut off by another long…long…kiss. He didn't protest. Hey, he's a 16 year old male, what do you expect? He wondered vaguely what was happening to George, but didn't ponder on it long. He thought this was a very strange way to get to know someone, but perhaps this was how they did things in Egypt. All doubts were soon erased from his mind as he got to know this mysterious angel really well, and he faded into a blissful oblivion where no thoughts could trouble him…  



End file.
